this past week i've done a lot of that. reminiscing, that is. it's been 2 years since i graduated from byu. shortly after graduating i went through this phase of feeling quite worthless and untalented compared to all of my fellow classmates, and was leaving facebook, so i started "unfriend"-ing many amazing people. not for anything they did, but because of how poorly i felt about myself, and how unprepared i was for facing the world post-graduation. fast forward to recently. i was thinking about how much these people influenced my life, for the better!, and how much i wanted to see where they are and what they have been doing and where they are going and... you get the picture. because even though i've mostly overcome that terribly low phase (hey, work in progress), it's still a great idea to have such wonderful people in my life even if it's just through a social site or blog! i hope all of them are willing to reconnect with me, and share with me the happiness that comes just from being themselves.
i got an email from "NDEO" today. it's about the conference that's coming up in two months. this triggered a strong desire to go, and start to truly reintegrate myself into the dance world, and learn more. and also network with other dancers :) there isn't really anything near where i am for adults, just studios for those 18 and younger. something i always took for granted (even post-graduation) - having dance classes readily available! i started thinking... maybe it's time to see what i can do to change this situation. just thinking about it terrifies me, because i feel terribly unprepared and wonder if i even know enough, about dance. i've made choices about my education, and they seemed like the right ones at the time. because of my weaknesses i've started doubting again... cue more reminiscing!
so anyways. this time i'm not giving in to those weaknesses of self-doubt and fear. i know i lack experience in a lot. but that doesn't mean i can't continue my education and thus increase my experience. it's just going to be a lot harder now that i'm technically a college graduate. but we're supposed to keep learning all through life, are we not? so here's me, reaching out to my old classmates and friends, and trying to find a way to still be a part of the world i've always loved.
if anything, aaron, ana and i will be dancing a whole lot more in the living room.
i got an email from "NDEO" today. it's about the conference that's coming up in two months. this triggered a strong desire to go, and start to truly reintegrate myself into the dance world, and learn more. and also network with other dancers :) there isn't really anything near where i am for adults, just studios for those 18 and younger. something i always took for granted (even post-graduation) - having dance classes readily available! i started thinking... maybe it's time to see what i can do to change this situation. just thinking about it terrifies me, because i feel terribly unprepared and wonder if i even know enough, about dance. i've made choices about my education, and they seemed like the right ones at the time. because of my weaknesses i've started doubting again... cue more reminiscing!
so anyways. this time i'm not giving in to those weaknesses of self-doubt and fear. i know i lack experience in a lot. but that doesn't mean i can't continue my education and thus increase my experience. it's just going to be a lot harder now that i'm technically a college graduate. but we're supposed to keep learning all through life, are we not? so here's me, reaching out to my old classmates and friends, and trying to find a way to still be a part of the world i've always loved.
if anything, aaron, ana and i will be dancing a whole lot more in the living room.
No comments:
Post a Comment